Travis


Bunny Bun says glucose up, and I feel it in the blue. It’s tickling, like the footsteps, but can’t laugh now. Want to pull his moustache. My nose hurts, so strong. 3 – 2 – 1 - shut your eyes, flashlight, ok. Sit on the floor. Bunny Bun says I have to watch what I put inside me. Scott says I have to stop peeing on the floor. The night is long, the door is locked. Tomorrow’s Tuesday, that’s pizza, cigarette at 8. Hot. Hot pee pee. Hee Hee. Bunny Bun says I have to eat more salad. Tomorrow is pizza, Tuesday, hungry. Dr. Carlaw says I have to stop whispering to myself. If the weather is nice we’ll play basketball, before lunch, then cigarette, or cigarette before lunch, I hope. Dr. Carlaw says I killed Jenny. I remember Jenny, her red lips. Dr. Carlaw will be in this week, he’ll want to talk to me. Bunny Bun says I have to stop getting angry. Footsteps. Back to bed. 3 – 2 -1, flashlight, ok. Sit on the floor. I want to pull his moustache. I like when Bunny Bun wears that skirt, I like her legs, I like her ass. Scotty says don’t masturbate, fuck’im. I like when Jenny wore a skirt, she reminds me of Bunny Bun. I like Bunny Bun, I like her ass, so naughty. I hope she wears that skirt tomorrow. I think she has the morning shift. I hope she wears the skirt. Bunny Bun, ass, ass, ass, oh yeah. Now I need to pee. Have to wait a few minutes. Nose hurts. Paul screaming, shit his pants. Dr. Carlaw says that Jenny was a sweet girl, that she did nothing to deserve what I did. I like the way she used to bite her lips. Dr. Carlaw says stop punching the walls, he says he’ll put me in four-point. So hungry. Scotty says if the weather is nice we’ll go outside to play basketball, before lunch, then cigarette, or cigarette before lunch. Blue. 10 years. Alfred said they’re going to paint the place, I think this time he means it. Dr. Carlaw says I have to stop banging my head. Last time it was four days, no, three, no, that’s when I broke the window, three days. Mom came to visit last year. Said she was never coming again and she hated me. She brought KFC. Four-piece, fries, large fries, large coke, with a straw. She said father died of a broken heart and it was all my fault and she hopes I rot. The coffee was cold by the time I drank it. I hated when father used to sodomize me. Footsteps, oh no, they’re coming for Paul. Bunny Bun says I haven’t brushed my teeth for three years and they’re going to rot in my mouth. Paul is screaming. So hot. Nose Hurts. Alfred says put cigarettes in ash-tray or else I won’t smoke. Dr. Carlaw says he wants to do another CAT scan. He says I have imbalanced chemicals in my head and it makes me dangerous and he also wants to increase my meds again. I feel like banging my head on the wall but I don’t want to be in four-point. Shut up already they’re just changing your diaper. Meat pie, that’s Wednesday, no, Thursday. Bunny Bun says I’ve put on a lot of weight, she says I have to answer when she asks me about my thoughts. Scotty got angry at me when I refused to stand up on remembrance day, he said he won’t buy me cigarettes next time, but I know he will. Stephanie says stop burping. Next month I appeal my case, that means I’ll buy coffee. Mom said she’s going to forget all about me. 2 crispy, 2 original, or was it spicy? I wish she brought me a whole bucket. 20 pieces, fries, extra large, coke, extra large, with a straw. I should have drank the coffee first. Damn. Dr. Carlaw asked me if I feel remorse for killing Jenny. Scott says my birthday is coming up. He says if I behave and don’t burn anything we’ll go to KFC with Fred. Mr. Moustache. He hasn’t beaten me up for four months, no, five months, I’ve been good. He says he’ll hang me off the side of the roof. Footsteps. Back to bed. 3 – 2 – 1 , eyes, flashlight, ok. Sit on the floor. Bunny Bun says if I think a bad thought I have to tell her. She says my glucose is high. So hot. Blue. Hungry. I can piss now. I remember Jenny was wearing leather when I burned her, I remember the smell. I remember the way she used to bite her lips, those red lips. Mom said I was on the news. The news is boring. Television is boring. Cigarette at 8, still dark, I want a cigarette. Bunny Bun says she can’t smoke menthols. Scotty says smoking’s bad for you. Alfred smokes the same cigarettes I do. Kent smokes woman cigarettes. Luther smokes cigars. That’s cheating. He also orders food. Mary doesn’t like me anymore. She says I am a lifer. She doesn’t come to see me very often. She said she’ll be there in my last appeal but she didn’t show. My legions of fans have forgotten all about me. They didn’t hold any demonstrations. Dr. Carlaw says my form expires in two weeks, so he’ll write a new one. He says technically they can keep you in four-point for up to 60 days. Don’t punch the wall, don’t bang your head. I hate being hand-fed.