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— So what's in the Home Affairs pipeline, boss?
[inquires Deputy Prescott of Toady Blair].
— John, to be frank and honest, I neither know nor care.
I'm more of a World Statesman, an International Player,
a media-man of many parts (and flats). And while I'll share
my home thoughts from Abroad, this coin's for you to toss.
My deference to Bush has reference to Oil:
that's the big issue now. Why ease our workers' toil?
— I'm sorry boss, but I'm at a loss
[grunts Jolly John]. What should 'New' Labour say?
— Forget old-style stuff, call the Union bluff,
appeal to decency, to patriotism. Act tough.
Just grin and bluster. All strikes melt into thin air. . . .
— Boss, you're an inspiration. We admit
you clearly are a sanctimonious hypocrite,
but since my own job seems secure,
I guess your motives must be pure.
— Praise be to Prescott! Let us pray
terrorists everywhere fade away,
be they asylumseekers, strikers, dissidents,
student or heathen, folk with brains and sense.
And now, please hail my Sermon For Today:
"Firefighters' pay claims, as such, cannot
be reckoned reasonable or fair.
HM Government will make it hot
for them. (These guys, Cherie, have cheek to spare,
seeking a better life, indeed!) Our funding their
glamorous, but too often part-time, fun
means shelling out more cash we've honestly not got.
It costs the Treasury an awful lot
supporting US bases ever more,
plus bills for bare essentials — Fylingdales and War.
"Subversives may wave banners, starve or rot.
We well-fed politicians can't afford to care.
It's mass destruction, a red smoking gun
to terrorize both town and countryside. I swear
they'll all surrender in the end, repent,
swallow John's bullshit with their pride. Prepare,
Fire-Persons, to thank God for 4 per cent:
our offer stands, still on the table there.
You surely will agree it's heaven-sent.
Believe it, fellow-Britons, or beware!
But trust me. Yours sincerely, Tony Blare."